A Thought Provoking 5 Miles...

Yesterday I saw 5 miles tick by for the first time in 26 weeks, exactly. As I ran on the treadmill, grateful for every pain free step I get, my mind took me back over the past six months. I am not yet running without several one minute walking recoveries that keep me humble, but I am up to three minutes of solid running before I have to reel it in for a minute. I am finally to the point where I have to hold myself back, a great place to be in my mind! Through the process of healing, I've learned some things. In no particular order, I thought I'd share some of my random thoughts….

• Accept your situation and adjust your expectations accordingly. Initially I thought I'd be that one miracle. You know, the one that defies all odds, has no complications throughout the process and bounces right back out there like the machines that we are, even when the doctors tell you it's going to take time. I was sure I'd race late season races. And even the doctors looked at me with doubt when I told them my expectations. As August rolled around, and then September, I struggled with disappointment and frustration. I was hard on myself and thought I was failing. As soon as I wrote the season off and accepted where I was, everything changed, mentally and physically. I now had time on my side.
• Lighten up and don't take yourself so seriously! It's not the end of the world, even though sometimes it may feel like it. Take time to enjoy some other things that often get pushed aside. Find a new interest. Spend time with family and friends. Help someone else. Like all things, this too will pass!
• It's ok to gain a little weight. In fact, it might even be good for you. Some have said it's not good to be at race weight year round. That can be a whole conversation for some, but at best, it's good resistance training, right? And a wise tall bird told me, "Ali it's just weight, it's easy to lose." So true! 
• Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop! I wanted to be diligent in the recovery and PT process, and I was. I had been told to use pain as my guide as I re-introduce activity. Every time I would try, my tendon would feel tight, and I assumed I had done too much. So I would stop. I cried. I doubted. I wanted to give up. Romney finally sat me down and suggested that at some point, this tendon has to get used to being used again. He told me to let go of the fear and figure out if this thing is fixed or not. He forced me back to Tyler (I've worked with him on and off for years, and he's AWESOME) at In Motion Physical Therapy so I could have constant eyes on me and more guidance. Tyler rationed everything I did, and wow has this made the difference! I had allowed fear to get the best of me, for a time.
• I have a great deal of respect for my patellar tendons and all they allow me to do! For without them functioning properly, life is far less fun!
• RUNNING IS HARD!!! But oh how I love it! Those days of fast running are but a distant memory. I have my work cut out, and I'm grateful to work!
• I could never, ever have made it through this alone. I have the most amazing people behind me that have lifted me up through some pretty dark times. You hear the old saying, "it takes a village," well I'm here to tell you it does! From my family, to friends, to doctors and physical therapists, to coaches, to sponsors and so on….. THANK YOU!!! It means the world to me!