Ironman 70.3 St. George - Bruised... but not Broken

WOW, what a week! Probably the most emotional week I've had in a long, long time. Like since the days of those dumb, unstable high school relationships that at the time, seem like EVERYTHING! Well folks, those days pass, and you only go up from there. Phew!

It's been a long time since a race has had as much hype as this one. With it being the US Pro Championships, almost every big name this sport knows was there. How exciting! Every single friend of mine in Salt Lake that is involved in this sport was there. How exciting! The Salt Lake Tri Club (Rory Duckworth) and the City of St. George (Paul Jewkes) had embraced me as a local "rookie pro", and to those people, I want to say a very heartfelt thanks. Thank you for believing in me and allowing me the opportunity to brush shoulders with greatness. 

 On stage with the Big Guns!

There was a lot of anticipation on my part going into this race. I was hoping to redeem myself a little bit from Oceanside. I feel very comfortable with the terrain in St. George, after all it is my second home, and I have always raced very well here. I was excited! I figured this was the perfect place for me to have a great race. With a full house of racers and a lot of positive energy, we were ready to roll. And just to keep things light, we threw some good humor in there as well...

Who says moms can't have a six pack??

Now, for the race.. you're not gonna get a blow by blow, look at all the mental demons I pushed through kind of report. But rather, a very candid shot of where my head is at since last Saturday. For anyone that understands the sport, it is very clear what happened. I got popped in the first 400 yards of the swim, and was out of the race. Period. I have no other excuses, nothing or no one to blame but myself. I am now racing with Professionals, where no one sucks. They're all triple threats. They show no weakness. They'll battle until they can't battle any longer. They won't quit, ever! And because of all that, they'll push me to become better as well, it may just take more time than I thought.

In the Age Group race, I was able to get away with a weaker swim. I would come out of the water in the top 10-15% of my group, having a wide range of swimmers to work with that always kept me in a pack. Then out of the water it didn't take me long to pedal my way through the field to the front of the race, soaking in that adrenaline of flying past cyclist after cyclist. My race is different now, and there isn't that range of ability in the swim, bike or run. So, if I can't hang on in the swim, well then, I'm racing alone. Swimming alone, biking alone, running alone. 

So here's my reality... I have to figure out how to swim! And while doing so, continue to strengthen my bike and run. I fully recognize that I haven't put the time in the pool that 95% of these girls have. Ask any swimmer what it takes to be fast - every one of them will tell you time in the water. Years and years of swimming 5-6 days per week, with many of those days being two-a-days. I have never done anything close to that, ever! The first time I had anyone look at me in the pool was during the 2009 season, remember those days Beej? So how can I expect to come out of the water with them if I haven't put the work in?! I just simply can't. So, new plan is to swim a minimum of 5 days a week. I know, many of you will laugh that I haven't been doing that already. Lesson learned. Salt Lake Masters, I'm coming! Please be nice :) I clearly have my work cut out for me!

At least my long and lonely ride was scenic! Photo by Chris Mabey

As I've had time to reflect on my race, there are several other things I need to remember. I'm a wife and mom of four beautiful children, and I've been running their school for the past year. I love them and want every opportunity for them. Because of that, I have less time to put in for training. I spend hours and hours every day tending to their needs, and taxi-cabbing them around town, making sure everyone is at the right place at the right time. I chose this life, and I LOVE this life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. But I also chose to take the huge step up to the Pro field when the unlikely opportunity presented itself. So, while I will do my best to keep things in perspective, I'm a fighter. I'll see this battle through, I'll finish what I started.

As a competitive athlete, it doesn't feel good to be at the back of the pack. I'm used to winning, that's what got me here in the first place. And trust me, it's WAY more fun! I'm not going to lie, this has been a hard adjustment for me. It's been very humbling. It's caused me to question myself when before I never did. I've asked myself if I made the right decision to turn pro, the list goes on.

Some would say life has come easy to me. And if I'm honest with myself, I'd probably agree. There's not much that ruffles my feathers to the point that I fall apart. I can usually keep a pretty level head and come out of most things smiling. But I wasn't smiling Saturday afternoon. I didn't have fun out there, and I felt like I'd let a lot of people down. Myself, my sweet husband who was out there suffering as much as I was as he watched me struggle, my kids, my amazing sponsors, all my friends who have supported me through this whole process, my coach and so many others who have helped get me here. I was ashamed. 

But with some time and perspective, I'm ashamed no longer. I'll hold my head high knowing that I earned my spot on the start line, and I've gotten here out of pure love for sport and desire to be a better version of me. I just have a lot more work to do, and I'll do it with a smile reminding myself how lucky I am to have a healthy body that will allow me down this road. So, I walk away from Ironman 70.3 St. George all bruised and banged up, but not broken. 

So glad that's over!

To all those who were out there supporting me, thank you from the bottom of my heart! I was absolutely amazed by the number of people who knew my name, knew who I was and made the effort to introduce themselves. To all my training friends - you amaze me and inspire me constantly. To those of you athletes that were out on the course and made an extra special effort to keep me fighting when you saw my pain - you know who you are - you helped pick me up and get me to the finish line! And to save the best for last - my family! I couldn't do this without your constant support and encouragement. They're the real heroes in my story!

To my amazing sponsors - you rock! Canyon Bicycles, Dr. Greg Freebairn, Wasatch Running, Gnarly Nutrition, Gu Energy, Saucony, BodyWise Fitness and ISM Saddles - thank you, thank you!